Golf Humor Poetry:- Ode to the Fanatical Golfer (Part One)
He wanted golf to be experienced by all, And hoped his daughter would heed the call. "C'mon!", he said. "You'll have a ball!" "Why?", she asked. "Are we going to the mall?"
He'd often take his golf cart to work, And all his co-workers there would smirk. He didn't know why, and thought, "They're jerks!" "How could they belittle such a perk?!"
His swing was big and grand, yet dopey, He cried and cried when he made a bogey. Kids thought, "What's wrong with this old fogey?" He thought, "I'm not old. I sport a goatee."
He loved his old and tattered bag, His caddie thought it was such a drag. But he hated more "golf cart tag", The golfer played with him, when he didn't move the flag!
Forever chasing the elusive par, He'd hit the ball straight and far. In the traps, his ball seemed stuck to tar! He'd still be there, when "parking" had narrey a car!
He loved the smell of the "fresh-cut green", But to him it proved such a fiend. It's favor to him, was always lean! Despite it's beauty, it could be so mean!
The point of golf? To put the ball in the hole. You do that with a "curved-end' pole. But the path, always guarded by a "troll", Or maybe yet, some "ticked-off" mole!
He was never any good in the traps, In fact, his "game" would always flap. But to others, it seemed to sit on their laps, While he was reduced to stomping his cap!
He'd read the "mags" to take his golf game higher. He wanted the best ball--best putter---best driver. Often going to his wife to borrow a "fiver", She wouldn't budge. No matter how hard he tried to "jive" her!
To the links, early morning he'd often travel, Sometimes his bathrobe and pajamas his only apparel. Unfortunately, the knot would often unravel, After jumping up and down at a lucky roll, he'd marvel!
Copyright 2005 by Kevin D. Rolle. All rights reserved.
My name is Kevin D. Rolle, and I have a site at http://www.golf-humor-asylum.com which is dedicated to the humorous and comedic aspects of golf, which are displayed through a fresh, exciting golf comic strip, and my commentary. Thanks.
Related Articles:
Poetry in Stone - Sculptures
Sculpture is a three dimensional representation of an idea or a real life portrayal in wood, stone, ivory, precious stones, metals and even papier-m?ch?
Archaeological excavations have yielded innumerable sculptures, some dating back 35,000 years ago crafted from mammoth ivory
Where to Find Urdu Poetry
If you understand what Urdu poetry is then you may want to know where to find it so that you can read it on a regular basis. There are really only a few places that you can find it for the purpose of reading it. Your library, the Internet and your family.
Rules for Writing Poetry
You've been writing poetry since that first assignment in your high school writing class. You know the rules about writing poetry, right? Are there rules? Well, if you frequent the poetry forums across the Internet as much as I do, you'd find that there are a lot of amateur poets who adamantly declare that there are no rules for writing poetry and if someone even suggests reading poetry or books on poetry, many of the amateur poets will throw up a defensive front.
Dr. Sethanne Howard Shares Her Poetry from the Heart with Print-on-Demand Availability of The Blue Lines at Lulu.com
The Blue Lines is an anthology of over 100 of Dr. Howard's poems.
Loose Diamond Online Retailer, AWDiamonds.com -- Mother's Day Poetry Contest
A&W Diamonds is holding their first of many annual Mother's Day Poem Competitions. The winner of A&W Diamonds Mother's Day Poem competition will win a beautiful princess shaped diamond. To participate and contend for a princess diamond contestants are to write an original poem for mother's day, including the phrase "princess diamond" throughout their poem.
Beautiful Theology: Peggy Ann Kennedy's Poetry Expresses Truths of the Human Condition and Christ's Love
Saving grace through Christ is artistically juxtaposed against and triumphs over the depths of depression in Christ's Walk with Me.
SEO Writing Can Make You Rich as a Freelance Writer
Many entrepreneurs, small and private businesses, and individual affiliates, hire freelance writers for SEO writing (also known as "search engine optimization" writing) SEO writing involves writing keyword-rich articles to rank the client's website higher in search engines and generate more website traffic
Start a Resume Writing Service for Profit
The resume writing service serves an important role in the economy. Many qualified candidates have a difficult time marketing themselves to employers and turn to a professional writing service for assistance.
Different Forms of Urdu Poetry
Urdu poetry adheres to a number of strict rules that give way to its unique poetic structure. These rules govern the groups of versed lines that are used in every Urdu poem and dictate their meter, rhythm, rhyming pattern, ending words, and the location of the poets signature. Despite these strict rules, Urdu poetry has evolved into an incredibly colourful art that manifests itself in a myriad of different forms.
Poetry Critique - Critique The Poem - Not The Poet
The act of writing poetry is something that is very personal to us poets, and sharing it for the first time can be a very frightening experience. The first experience of having your work criticized can boggle your mind and set you back a step in your writing. However, critique is essential in any writer?s career. Accepting criticism is something that we all must face, even if we don't like it.
Outskirts Press Announces The Human Condition, the Latest Highly-Anticipated Poetry - General Book from Mineral Ridge, OH Author Andrew Buckner
Outskirts Press, Inc. has published The Human Condition by Andrew Buckner, which is the author's most recent book to date. The 5.5 x 8.5 Paperback in the Poetry - General category is available worldwide on book retailer websites such as Amazon and Barnes & Noble for a suggested retail price of $7.95. The webpage at www.outskirtspress.com/andrewbuckner was launched simultaneously with the book's publication.
New Fun-Filled Poetry Book Ministers to Children
Author Brian Anderson illustrates God's love in several perfectly entertaining poems in Gordon Greatspoon's Little Poetry Book
Loose Diamond Online Retailer, AWDiamonds.com -- Valentine's Day Poetry Contest
A&W Diamonds is holding their first ever Valentine's Day Poem Competition. To win a heart loose diamond, contestants should write a poem for their loved one on this special day, include the phrase heart diamond in the poem, and submit it before the deadline.
Canandaigua Poetry Festival Brings Prose Back to Finger Lakes
Canandaigua Poetry Festival is celebrating their second year this fall at the Commons in Downtown Canandaigua. The date is set for Saturday, September 8th, from noon to 9 p.m. at the Commons stage on the corner of Coach and Main Streets.
Outskirts Press Announces Enlightened Heart/Darkened Soul, the Latest Highly Anticipated Poetry/General Book from Elkton, KY, Author E'Val
Outskirts Press, Inc. has published Enlightened Heart/Darkened Soul: A Collection of Poetry and Short Stories by E'Val, which is the author's most recent book to date. The 5.5 x 8.5 paperback in the Poetry/General category is available worldwide on book retailer websites such as Amazon and Barnes & Noble for a suggested retail price of $8.95. The webpage at www.outskirtspress.com/E'Val was launched simultaneously with the book's publication.